my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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