im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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