where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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