When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
