So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
