so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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