Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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