Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
