..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize