So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
