I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
