she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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