I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
