I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
