I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize