I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just want to make out with him forever
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
