went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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