just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
we're so committed to being not committed
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize