she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
