Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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