didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
