jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
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