Where did you get a picture of my penis
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
