he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
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Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
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We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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