i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
