I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
ugly people sure do ruin things
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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