Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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