My hand turned me down
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I want a musical about memes.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
