So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Randomize
