Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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