I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
