he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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