I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
