Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
