lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
