He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
