Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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