What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
