yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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