i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
