Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
