I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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