how can u be prego again
its not stalking. its research.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
