I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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