I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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