why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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