I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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