with your own penis?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
