barbara walters just said penis...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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