well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize