i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That accounts for only three of the penises
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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