just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
