Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I will be naked everywhere
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
