he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
