I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
