I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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