Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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