MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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