Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
