yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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