i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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