Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Randomize
