weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Define "chronic" masturbator.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
