They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
