if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
