Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
