his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
